Zero Dark Thirty

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

I went to see Zero Dark Thirty by myself during my lunch break last week. I’d heard it was a bit boring but it was either that or Lincoln and, well, you just know that Lincoln is going to be boring...

Although the movie is basically a bunch of spliced together scenes with that Golden Globes winning chick shouting and strutting around in a huff – I found that it wasn’t boring at all! The torture scenes were unpleasant of course but, hey – Not Guilty. That was the Americans right? So, you know - call your Congressman.

The tension builds up, slowly, like a cat stalking a mouse or my daughter Molly getting ready for school and, unlike Argo where Ben Affleck almost blows the whole movie by having the bad guys chasing after the plane – it never happened! – the film feels like each enactment might actually be true - all the way through.

They could’ve added a twist at the end though and perhaps a bit of humour?

Here’s my alternative ending:

“Osama...?”

One of the Special Ops soldiers is unzipping the body bag and studying the face of the corpse,

“I thought they said…Obama?”

“Oh ha ha ha ha ha!”

The rest of the Special Ops squad rolls around on the floor laughing as they realize their mistake.

“Ha ha ha! I can’t believe we shot Obama!”

And…roll credits.

What do you think? Yeah I know - too soon.

Fortunately the gag reel at the end was funny and more than made up for all that messy torture.