The Grand Budapest Hotel

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

Wes Anderson movies are weird. Moonrise Kingdom was freaky.  The Royal Tenenbaums was wacky. I haven’t seen any more but I’m sure they’re all out there.

In The Grand Budapest Hotel the acting is so tongue in cheek it’s a wonder you can hear any dialogue.  The movie starts smartly kicking out of the blocks with a suspicious death, a disputed inheritance and a disgruntled family, and it never lets up.

Ralph Fiennes, or Ray Fiennes however you pronounce Lord Voldemorts name, has the Wes Anderson scripted deadpan down pat as he frolicks his way through the hotel lobby and up and down the Hungarian countryside in his efforts to evade the Munster faced family as they seek a bigger slice of the will.  

The best parts of the movie are the little moments of levity, brought to us by Fiennes mainly, but also a great supporting cast including the Lobby Boy bloke, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Murray, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Harvey Keitel and Edward Norton. There are so many memorable characters in this farce you almost lose track, but somehow Wes Anderson has a way of illuminating a new face in an instant. When William Dafoe sneers and snaps on his black gloves over his skull-embossed brass knuckles we know right away who he is - no boring back story or dialogue is required. 

Monuments Men

Bullseyes:  ② (out of 5)

I didn’t go see this movie but Kathleen did. Kathleen should know better because she’s a movie buff. She watches movies I’ve never heard of with sub-titles and everything. Yeah she’s pretentious. I don’t know what she was thinking here, the reviews were awful. Perhaps Trevor made her do it? Trevor likes Keanu Reeves and car chases.  

Anyway I’m passing along Kathleen’s review notes which she texted to me on her way home so we can all save ourselves some trouble:

‘Just saw Monuments Men. Load of crap. Maybe 2 moments in the movie I was endeared. Soundtrack crap too. Clooney, crap. Whichever scene cate blanchette was in was like a different movie, a good movie. Coulda been a Great story if it was made by Tarantino! (that’s a joke by Kathleen because she knows how much I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds). Was like the latest Indiana Jones shit movie mixed in with 10 minutes of shindlers list. You can quote me.’

And I did. Thanks Kathleen!  Next time just go to cinemaclock.com and read the reviews ;)

Lone Survivor

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

Yet another ‘based on a true story’ Navy Seal escapade. Huh.  How many of these can there be? I wonder. I just finished watched Zero Dark Thirty. Aren’t these army operations supposed to be ‘covert’? No wonder the terrorists are so effective.

‘Ve have to get into ze pentagon mein Kapitan’ (I don’t know why the terrorists have German accents…it’s must be a WWII thing)

‘How vill ve do zis Helmut?’

‘I think I have an old movie somevere’

‘Great put it on’

‘Yavol. God is good’

‘Vat?’

Lone Survivor is a gory, shaky cam, POV style war caper. It’s as close as you can get – or as close as I’ve ever gotten – to being inside a soldier’s helmet. And after seeing this I know that inside a soldier’s helmet is no place I’d ever want to be.

Danny Walberg and his cohorts get dumped into the backwaters of Afghanistan (are there any other type of waters in Afghanistan?), exposed by a bunch of goat herders (why is it always goat herders?) and shot to pieces by the local Taliban. That’s the plot basically, but, ‘shot to pieces’ doesn’t quite cover what you experience on the screen. Yikes. This is one movie you wouldn’t want to see in 3D IMAX. You literally see these poor sods getting plugged to death. It’s gruesome.

Of course Marky Mark survives but there is no stirring soundtrack or feel good finale. You leave the cinema with the same sense of hopelessness that all modern era war movies seem to leave you with. Which makes you wonder – why do we keep making all these wars if they never have any happy endings? John Wayne would never have signed up for any of this.

American Hustle

Bullseyes:  ③ (out of 5)

American Hustle is a fun time of a movie.  It tells the story of the abscam political bribe expose operation which I’d never heard of but which is supposedly well-known.  

As with most ‘true stories’ (the caption at the beginning of the film tells us that, ‘some of this actually happened’) the plot meanders and you are never quite sure what’s supposed to happen next but the acting keeps us invested, especially Jennifer Lawrence whose character is so juicy I wished they’d built the whole movie around her.

Amy Adams is a little off – I got the feeling she was a little shallow for this role - which is shame because she’s in almost every frame, but Amy Adams is smoking hot, and barely half dressed for most of the movie so, you know - all is forgiven.

Rush

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

It’s hard to make Formula 1 boring – except when you’re watching an actual race – and Rush – the story of James Hunt’s 1976 Championship winning season – is anything but.  I’ve read Hunt’s biography so I was a little nervous that Ron Howard was going to take Argo like liberties with the plot – but no worries, it all panned out fine.

First off the casting was excellent.  Daniel Brühl, who I’ve never heard of, as the meticulous German, Niki Lauder. And Chris Hemsworth as the glamorous Hunt, were perfect.  Had Howard got the casting wrong this movie would have stalled on the grid, but as it was, the movie screeched through the first corner and tore up the track.  Just be sure to shield your eyes when they crash, and crash again. It all gets pretty gory…

Philomena

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

Like kids and their kid movies I pretty much love anything Steve Coogan ever puts out, even before I’ve seen it, and Philomena was no exception.  Despite the seriousness of the subject matter (Evil nuns! Bad Catholics! Boo!) Coogan injects his dry wit everywhere, the British class system being a common comic source: 

-          Judy Dench opens a packet of Tunes (cough sweets) and offers one to Coogan (Coogan:  ‘A Tune?  You hum it and I’ll sing it!’) 

-          Dench tells everyone she meets, ‘you’re one in a million’.  Coogan: ‘That’s statistically impossible!’

But, Philomena is more than just an odd couple road trip yarn, no wait – it isn’t.  But whatever, it is sweet, it’s Steve Coogan and it should definitely win an Oscar (Go Steve!).

Hunger Games Catching Fire

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)

I had the queasy feeling, halfway through the new Hunger Games installment, that I’d seen this movie before.  Everything seemed so…familiar.  And then I remembered – I’d read the book! 

How did that happen?  I wondered.  I never read movie books - why would I?  That’s like watching the end of the football before rewinding to the kick off.

I hope there’s lots of goals…

The new Hunger Games is great entertainment and, unlike the Hobbit movies, it doesn’t leave you wanting less.  Too bad I just read the third book…