Tuesday 5 February 2013

The Impossible

Bullseyes:  ④ (out of 5)
I’d heard about this tsunami true story a few months back and almost forgot to watch it until I got so bored last Sunday that I had no choice.
“Isn’t there anything else on?” I asked my wife Susie as she burrowed under her quilt and begged me to let her rest in peace, “How about Lincoln?”
I have to say I wasn’t drawn to this movie. For one thing the name didn’t exactly grab me. ‘The Impossible’? Obviously it wasn’t impossible if it actually happened. It did actually happen right…? Hmm… I wondered if this was one of those ‘true’ stories like Argo which was almost probably true right up until the time the bad guys hopped in their jeep and started chasing after the plane…

Another problem was that I was still suffering from YouTube fatigue after watching a zillion tsunami clips 9 years ago (has it really been 9 years?) and then all over again after the recent Japanese disaster. I was starting to feel a bit car crashy about the whole thing.
So I checked the movie reviews on-line before pulling away the duvet - ‘Noo…leave me alone!’ - and was pleased to see that it scored 7 ½ out of 10! Not bad for Ewan McGregor.
I’ve started checking movie reviews religiously after paying real actual money to see Warhorse. I still hear neighing in my sleep and crappy Geordie accents - God Damn you Steven Spielberg!
The Impossible was painful to watch. The tsunami yanks you out of your seat – literally. Or maybe that was Susie after I farted for the tenth time (hey - it wasn’t me! It was that potato salad you made me right before we left. Now that was a good idea…). Whatever it was I found myself ducking and cringing and clutching at the arms of my chair as the wave crashed ashore.
Every bang, slap and rip - as Ewan McGregor’s missus tumbled around in the wash and got slashed and bashed by all the rolling crap - made me grind my popcorn into mush – Ouch.
The acting was incredible. Especially when you think that the whole thing was probably filmed in front of a green screen in a bath tub.
When the water finally drained away there was no let-up to the agony. Endless wading through forests and swaps, riding in the back of trucks, waiting around is filthy hospitals, scouring the streets for missing loved ones... I finally unflinched when the rep from the insurance agency turned up like Mr. Del Monte with a clean set of towels and a private jet.
“Let’s get out of here!”
It made me feel a little guilty to look out of the window of the plane with Ewan and his clan and see the poor locals frowning up at the sky. The very same locals who had just helped them wade through the wreckage and cling to life…ah well. Sucks to be poor I guess.

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