Tuesday 22 October 2013


Bullseyes:  ③ (out of 5)

I was a little up in the air about watching the latest Alfonso Cuarón blockbuster flick, but seeing that my wife was feeling a little down after a hard day at work I decided to give this movie a whirl.  Hold on, give it a whirl?  That phrase doesn’t make sense… Oh come on - how many gravity puns do you think there are?  I’d like to see you do any better…

Anyway I was hoping I would not be too enthused by this epic so that I could say something about it never getting off the ground.  Or perhaps tell the director to come back down the earth.  But, alas, it was actually pretty good so I’ll have to save these killer puns for another movie review (perhaps one about, ‘The Void’ starring Bruce Willis as a jet pilot who flies too high, or maybe ‘Goodbye Moon’:  Nuke misfire blows up the moon and the earth’s gravity ebbs away…(Christ I should be pitching these to Ridley Scott, they are Gold!))

Gravity is a movie about Sandra Bullock grunting inside a spacesuit.  It starts with her gasping as she works to fix something complicated outside the space station, and progresses to panting and grunting as she floats away into oblivion.  George Clooney keeps her grunting company for a while until he remembers that he’s paid mainly for his good looks and you can’t see him inside a spacesuit so he dutifully drifts off into another movie (Spoiler alert! Wait, too late.  Sorry!)

Gravity is a concise and satisfying little epic, improbable of course, and not remotely in need of any the big name actors it employs, but a fine movie none-the-less. I wish all the award waffle would cease though – this movie isn’t going to get any big noms.  You can’t get a best actor nod for grunting and there’s precious little character development or plot to push this flick even close to the Oscar sun.  But it will probably get a bag full of technical awards so that’s something.

My only gripe with Gravity is Clooney and Bullock.  Why put big names in here?  In a 3D stratosphere featuring deadly projectiles, burnt out space stations and beautiful planet earth as a backdrop – why do we need Dr.  Ross and that chick from Speed?  Clooney and Bullock almost pull you out of the movie – back down to earth you could say (ha! Got it!) – But, fortunately the 3D effects and taut direction keep our feet firmly off the ground (yes again!) and floating to the inevitable conclusion (nailed it!).  

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